alhamdulillah syukur.. thank you ya Allah. thank you so much!

i got my spm result 2 days ago (15 march) i was so nervous that i slept the whole evening. my heart was beating like crazy and i felt like throwing up.. i only eat a little that day. hahaha.

and so. in the morning. i woke up as early as 3 in the morning. damn early right? i couldnt sleep at all and yea i spend my time lying on my bed and playing with my cats.

and it was 8:30 am.. i picked my towel and have a shower. not a long shower tho. ahaha. just enough to get rid of the smell :P

during the shower.. i have all this bad thoughts. what if i got 2As? 3As? will people look down on ne because im dumb?

I cant even prepare myself to be redha with whatever my result will be.. what if i failed? Just like what i said in my previous entry.. the sejarah history.. i got a fever while i sit for sejarah paper 3. so i dont expect myself to get good grades for sejarah..

9:20am
i went to school with my brother. Rempit style with my baju kurung on. hahaaha

as soon as i arrived at school i met with one of my friend and we sit together nervously.. until my other friends come and we get into the school together.
by this time.. i didnt feel nervous or scared at all..
might be because we are together..
i should be matured and hide my nervousness right..
im not the only who's nervous. everyone has the same feeling as me.
i tried my best to hide.

as we got into our school hall. i met few of my classmates whom i havent met for such a long time..
and i met arifah. one of my friend that im comfortable with. idk she just have that aura. hahaha even tho we are not that close. not in the same group kind la tbh but yea i like her.

she greet me and with face full of guilty she said that my name is in the senarai hutang.. what?? am i in debt now??

so i went to the teacher. ahh so the teacher thought that i haven't return my textbook. ahh long story.. but i actually returned it okay..

and so we sit at the chair.. chit chatting.. i sat beside wana,atiqah, and hazimah..
we talk for a while and yea. reality hits me. spm result!! what will happen to my future.
Will it be dark? or will there be at least a tiny bit of light?

11:30am
it has started. the principle gave a short speech about how our school perfomance got better. and good news! we have 1 straight As candidate. and its a malay girl. im so proud of u shahidah!

11:45
they started with the 5As candidate to get into the stage.. from 5 Damar, 5 Cendana, 5 Balau.. i clap hella loud and finally.. 5As candidate from 5Akasia... NUR***************

my friend.. Wah ***!!! And i was like.. really? did they call my name just now? what just happened?
and i walked to the stage. the principle said congratulations. we took pictures and i went to the back of the stage. ahahahha

What. i just cant believe i got 5As? me???? seriously? the me that only started to insaf when its only 3 months before SPM? me that almost always got in the last place at class? me ? me?

Me while standing back stage was like. syukur ya Allah.. yes. Allah is great. HE is the one that gave me this. not my effort. my effort wasn't enough to get a result as good as this. Allah swt help me. Allah swt pity me. Allah swt loves me. and i need to always remember him. and love him too by doing ibadah.. thank u once again ya allah.

my mom. thank u mak. i love u so much.. this is because of your prayer. my family.. and all the teachers that teach me. cikgu zaleha, cikgu hamisah, cikgu musa, cikgu hayati, teacher yee, teacher lily,cikgu wan omar, cikgu ramlan, dan ustazah halijah.. thank u so muchh..

and then they call other candidates that got 6As 7As 8As and 9As..
i felt like a fish standing there since my classmates that get to be on stage are the one that rank top 10 in school.
hahahaha

but yeah. i felt proud of myself. i felt.. happy..

i got 5As.. for math,bi,bm,pi and sejarah.. 2B for physics and chemistry.. yea i expected it to get A- atleast since i study this 2 subject extra hard than the others. but yea.. B is good enough for me. should've study extra hard since the beginning but.. who can resist good kdrama !!! hahahaha

and we went to meet all the teachers. i went into bilik bop and met teacher nazifah there. i salam her and she hold my hand tightly saying congrats u got A! i was a lil bit puzzled.. and she explained that im the only one at school that got A solid for english. i was shook! what the.. i thought i did badly since i aim for A+.. but alhamdulillah. this is good enough

and i met cikgu zaleha.. i said cikgu saya dapat C add math.. anddd she hugs me!! i hug her back ofc.. at that time. i really feel like crying.. but.. i held it in..hehe she said thank u to me.. thats why i felt like crying because it just so heartwarming u know.. because i never got 40+ for my addmaths. always in between 30%. LOL XD

and we met cikgu ramlan. my sejarah teacher. he said he is sorry because he wasnt there when we desperately in need of him.. last year his son got into an accident and went into coma. so he stopped teaching us for 2 months.. but we said that its okay..
his words touched me cus he said that if our sejarah is excellent then its our own effort. if not. it was his fault..

beautiful right? a little words from a teacher.. gives a big impact in my heart. i'll remember him forever. such a good teacher.. fyi. he is my one and only sejarah teacher.. he taught me sejarah since im in form 1.. thats why he is special.. :) if cikgu ramlan is reading this.. i just wanted to say a big thank you.. because i can see that you truly care for us.. your students like your own child. will miss your daddy jokes. hehe

unfortunately i didnt meet my chemistry teacher. idk why but im into chemistry more than biology.. people said that biology is easier but idk.. my spm result proved that im more into chem since i only managed to get C+ for biology..

 teacher yee! i fell in love with you since day one.. such a good teacher. never got mad at us even if we didnt finish her work..still managed to calm down.. i remember when you compliment me saying that my writing is pretty and that i can become a teacher with a good handwriting like that. hehe thank you teacher yee. you gave me courage. and when you remember my name.. thank you.. since im not in the spotlight that much.. that meant the whole world to me. im sorry i wasnt a good student.. but i hope u can feel proud with yourself because i managed to get B for chemistry.. ME!! hahaha

if i managed to get B.. then most your student will. keep going with your style of teaching .. love you

will countinue... with the story of my Form 5 teachers.. <3





hey guys.. just a quick recap about what happened in 2017

well, firstly.. it started off really well.. i got good grades and i have friends by my side.
like.. everything is great..

but then.. mid 2017..
i got nervous. spm is getting near and i felt like i havent study that much..
im not confident i'll get good results for my spm..

D-day
i felt nervous and empty.

The sejarah history..

i study real hard for sejarah with all the themes and ramalan given by the teachers..
and the moment i opened the paper..

sighh..
but whatever. that was all in the past..

now im just sitting, lying on my bed.. waiting for my spm result to come out..

funnyy story tho

as soon as i finished my last paper (chemistry)

i got fever and the big swollen lump under my armpit and on my arms hurt like hell.
Dr rose said i should went to the hospital..

and after lots off trouble which i wont tell.
we went to hospital pantai..
the dr said i might have lymphoma..
as soon as i hear that..
i felt nothing..
i showed  no expression..

but my mom..
i just cant..
and i cried.. really hard..


the end..

tho i still need to visit the hospital next week.. 




hello guys. oh. my. god. its been a year since i last updated this bloggie.

right. just a quick catch up of what happened in 2016. 

firstly, i am now studying biology, chemistry, physics and add math. unexpectedly, i'm a science streaming student. 😵

in the beginning of the year, i swear to myself that i wont study science. anymore. after all those trouble i went through studying science for pt3 exam. (STRESS +++)

But, my family.. especially my mom. has great expectation of me. so, you know i just do as she says. 

first lesson:

everything was great. the teachers and my friends are all there.

after the first exam:

I messed up physics. i failed. i got 37% which is very disappointing, but i had it coming. 
i remembered how nervous i am the night of the exam. since, there were 2 subjects to take and one of them is history, i got confused on what to read first. and eventually, i chose to read history first. why? hey,it is my favorite subject!

I MAKE A WRONG CHOICE.

I got sleepy and slept for 3 damn hours. that precious time!!

i woke up and quickly studied for physics. 

during the first exam:

5 more minutes and i am done! i look around. oh, there's my friend sleeping over there. 

i turn to the last page of the examination papers. GUESS WHAT. 










Alhamdulillah I've achieved my goals for 2015 which is to get great result for my pt3.


Syukur Alhamdulillah..

After being nervous for 2 days straight and couldnt even get to sleep, i can sleep in peace now.

Actually, i dont even expect myself to get 8As for pt3 since im having a hard time answering them during the exam.

Even I dont get to be on stage. its okay. since i know that I've tried my best. Big thanks to my english teacher, for encouraging me by saying "you can get on stage if you got 1 more B"

And Congratulations to my friends! getting 9A1B is a hardwork and i know you've tried hard. I try my best to get a B for science but unfortunately i got C. you must be a true genius huh. XD

To those that got straight As, I salute you guys. Congratulations again. ^_^

I ask my mom to guess what i got and she said i got 5As. Lol. Thanks mom. i give you 3 more A. hihi. i can hear her screaming over the phone. of course she's happy.

It is because 2 days before the result announcement, i told my mom that im not confident and maybe I'll only got 3A. she's disappointed of course but said. "Its okay, i dont really care about grade. Whats important is whether got to get into a university or not."

Okay mom. I love you. though i made you said. "Why not those two Cs is B? It will sounds nice if its B." (i thought you said you dont care about grades?) (hihi thats what mom do to ease my heart, she actually really do care)

Im sorry but i've tried my best. i'll make you show your proud face again the next time  i get my SPM result.





Hye!  Im back..


Not gonna write much since i have lots of things to do. well of course since it is school holiday.

Just gonna share one of my most favourite k-dramas. before that, im gonna share the story on how i ended up living in k-drama land. (it means that im addicted)

it happened in 2013. it was around november since i remember that school holiday is just getting started. there was this one guy who is a friend of my friend. we chatted quite a lot and almost everyday. Just boldly, i asked him what he's doing and he said that he's watching running man.

I've heard about that show a lot from my friends. they said that the program is all funny and interesting.

What I'm gonna say here is... I watched Running man because of that guy. LOL. We're even dating for 2 months. HAHAHAHA. But I broke up with him. We are the same age and i found myself annoyed when he acts really immature. I mean, WHO LIKES IMMATURE GUYS?

I marathon all the episodes in just 2 weeks. (don't know the actual time i took but it did not took a month)

I watched it before I sleep. and when i woke up.. i watched it again.

After I finished all the episodes.. i cant even wait for another week for it to be uploaded again..
So.. i decided to watch k-drama.

my very first k-drama is Full House (2004) . i would gave the drama 9/10 since it got me on my toes and i cant count how many times i swoon over Rain sweetness. Since it is my first drama. Full house has a special place in my heart. I even remember my friend bored expression when i tell her about this drama.

Master' sun

When i watched this drama, i cant help thinking how's this such beautiful drama is written. and it turns out that the writer is Hong sister. who is very popular for their successful dramas. And without even knowing. i watched almost all the dramas that this duo wrote like my girlfriend is a gumiho, my girl. i watch the greatest love after i know it is written by them.

oh yeah. I've watched masters sun for 3 times. What??? Why?? its so ji sub and gong hyo jin!! why not? and their chemistry is superbbb.. i watched the BTS and smile like a fool in front of my laptop..

Right. I'm gonna end here. I actually have a lot to say but im gonna write it on the next entry. Bye Bye!





what is dreams?

To me, dreams is something that i should achieve someday. 

Everyone has a dream. 

in this post, im just going to list my dreams. there are many! but of course, dreams doesnt always come true.  

1. Be an English teacher/tutor
2. travel around the world
3. Buy my mom a big house
4. Find a good man to marry
5. Write a story/novel